Journey to Ulster

Archie is half Irish so every few years we make the trip to Northern Ireland. There are plenty of bonuses to this. We tend to head to the north coast where the surf is good (although admittedly this has never been a consideration until this year) and the beaches are empty. There aren’t that many places in the UK where seaside resorts are this quiet in August:

However, we have to get there. We don’t fly with Archie. Not ever. He doesn’t wait that well (spot the understatement) and we suspect it would be pretty unmanageable. Anyway we’re not that s̶t̶u̶p̶i̶d̶  brave. Given the title of this blog that sounds a little restrictive so we therefore p̶r̶e̶t̶e̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶w̶e̶  subscribe to the view that it’s not the destination it’s the journey that’s important and drive. From Devon to the north coast of Northern Ireland, usually via Glasgow so we can visit Richard’s sister and the kids can get together with their cousins. These journeys have become the stuff of family legend, still talked about years later.

‘Remember that time we drove to Northern Ireland and Archie would only eat home made gluten free bread and we had to carry a bread maker and toaster in the car and try and fire them up in the hotel room.‘

‘Hey remember that time we stopped in that town in the middle of Wales and we thought Archie would love the little train, but for some reason he hated it and you got off looking like you’d been glassed‘

‘Do you remember when it was really rough and I was six months pregnant and you and Joe were being sea sick and I had to crash around after Archie who didn’t notice it was rough and was running around next to the magician on the ferry, and he kept going through the exit barrier on the on board shop and setting off all the alarms.‘

‘Oh gosh do you remember when had such a traumatic ferry journey that I made you ring your mum as we drove off the ferry and tell her we were NEVER GOING TO NORTHERN IRELAND AGAIN‘

Oh how we laugh. And then there’s one from last summer.

‘Remember when we drove to Northern Ireland and Archie screamed from Birmingham to Glasgow and we didn’t know why‘.

It was really quite incredible. The car journey is usually the easy bit with the ferry being problematic. The ferry involves waiting, and other people but Archie loves being in the car and providing we don’t hit traffic jams we usually have a pretty peaceful, if long, drive. But this year? Oh no. We hit Birmingham and Archie started screaming and he didn’t let up until we reached Glasgow. We spent quite a lot of time trying to work out what could be wrong and in the end gave up. Richard drove and I posted increasingly desperate Facebook comments. From ‘Archie appears to have lost his love of long car journeys :laughs hysterically:‘ to ‘Okay it appears we’re not allowed to stop for lunch‘  and  ‘Bad he’s been screaming literallly without pausing for breath since Birmingham, we’re north of Manchester and need to get to Glasgow‘. We were momentarily amused by the bossy Scottish road sign saying ‘Tell Your Passengers To Belt Up’. Er yes, we were trying.

Anyway we never really got to the bottom of it although Archie started screaming at Birmingham again on the way home. We came to the conclusion he just doesn’t like Birmingham. Or something.

Next time we go to Northern Ireland we’ll have the talker and I would expect this to be able to help with any screaming. Often Archie screams because he cannot make himself understood; he has something he is telling us; or he wants an answer to something but simply cannot get us to understand.  We cannot work out what he is saying and so he becomes very upset and frustrated. We play guessing games and if eventually we hit on the correct answer or correct understanding of his communication we’re rewarded with peace. If we guess incorrectly he becomes even more frustrated and loud. Already, this is something that we are finding hugely beneficial about the talker, it makes it so much easier to understand the problem and so cuts down on the screaming.

Last night after school Archie started shouting and complaining. Gradually it became louder. I grabbed the talker and asked him what the matter was. ‘Granny sweeties’ came the rely. All he needed was reassurance that yes my Mum was coming to see that night, and yes she would be bringing sweets and she was just running a little late. Silence resumed. He went back to happily google mapping and I went back to cooking or working or whatever it was I was doing. It took 2 minutes, if that,  rather than perhaps half an hour to sort out.

The talker may end up helping with another aspect of travelling with Archie that can be difficult. Archie looks, for want of a better word, entirely ‘normal’ and so when he kicks off or is difficult we can receive a very unsympathetic response from the public. Another Facebook status from last year’s journey suggests this was, as usual, a problem ‘Next time I travel by ferry with Archie I’m going to dish out lemons for the public to suck‘. It doesn’t really matter, but it can be irritating. The talker helps those that need the help to understand that something is up, that maybe he can’t completely control his behaviour and it can mean we don’t get shouted at. It means I don’t have to use my friend’s technique of a loud ‘TRY not to be so autistic Archie, you’re frightening that lady’. It makes all our lives easier.