Revenge (but not in the way you think)

Apologies there’s been a bit of a break. We’ve all been ill in turn, which always puts me behind with work and everything else slips in the catch up. Actually the being-ill was interesting post talker. Archie developed an eye infection, which then spread into his cheek. It was pretty grim. I found the child who has never worn a plaster in his life trying to stick plasters over his eyes and raiding the freezer for ice. We eventually managed to get him seen at the eye infirmary (after he told me eye different and eye bad and eye hurt). I took Joseph with me to help out, (never having tried to take Archie to a hospital appointment alone before), but he wasn’t really needed. The days of trying to get behind every closed door may be over. Archie was extremely good during the examination as well, resting his chin on the contraption that allowed the doctor to look into his eyes. Very different from our journey to x-ray four or five years ago where we had 5 people trying to hold him down for a shot of his suspected broken ankle (we never did manage to get the necessary shot). This time Archie only became noisy when he heard the doctor say he needed to stay off school. Staying off school doesn’t really go down very well.

We haven’t been surfing, we’ve been too ill or it’s been too cold and Archie hasn’t been keen. Until today really when he told me Harry yes surfing so I hope Harry’s back is better. I’ll start tracking the forecast again, if the temperature reaches 10 °C I’ll book us in. We have been dog walking a lot. Lucky Chewbacca.

I have started to try and target some language on the talker. I have been pushing a bit to try and get an understanding of Archie’s comprehension. So today for example while on the beach I asked whether today was ‘colder’ or ‘hotter’ than yesterday (I’m not sure whether ‘warmer’ is understood yet) and Archie was able to tell me that it was hotter (it was, by some distance). I have been keeping these instances very much grounded in what we are doing at the time, Archie still doesn’t really like to do work with me.

One very special moment today. Archie has been insisting on the same CD for weeks in the car, and it’s been beginning to drive me mad, (Variations for anyone interested) so today I insisted on playing music from my phone. This is a slightly eclectic mix that includes favourite tracks of mine and the kids, including ‘Revenge’, a bizarre Minecraft parody of Usher’s DJ got us falling in love again. As the song started playing Archie joined in with some gusto – and we sang along to various tracks the rest of the way to Bigbury. Archie can actually sing well and in key, he just rarely does, but today he was up for it. We arrived at the beach beaming – nothing like a belting sing-song to raise the mood.

iPad

Archie’s leisure activities are still fairly limited, although slowly expanding. There’s surfing of course, and dog walking, but he has struggled a little to fill his time at home. Usually he watches YouTube or engages in a bit of googlemapping. Otherwise he tends to watch passing cars out of windows.

It therefore didn’t go down that well yesterday  when the computer crashed and couldn’t be restarted. It needs a trip to the Apple shop. Luckily our ancient iPad is filling in the gap. YouTube with breakfast. Don’t mind if I do.

Convertible please

Before Google maps Archie loved YouTube. He used to watch a lot of videos of cars driving down motorways, and across bridges and trains leaving stations. He was able to navigate using search results providing we used the same starting screen each time.

Archie also loves cars, and particularly convertibles. He loves things that open and close so an automated convertible is truly a thing of beauty to him. A couple of weeks ago Nikki, Archie’s speech and language therapist showed him some videos of convertibles on YouTube. This was fairly disastrous for speech therapy as he was lost of the rest of the session watching video after video of convertibles with their roof up, no down, no up.

Having watched the above video, and believe me, Archie has; a lot; I can sort of see the attraction. Maybe.

Anyway Archie hasn’t really watched them for a while although I suspect he might have been thinking about them because as soon as he heard that tonight’s speech therapy session was cancelled (get well soon Nikki), he appeared, talker in hand and asked for ‘car open’. Unprompted and a first. My Safari history suggests that rather a lot of cars were watched….

Journey to Ulster

Archie is half Irish so every few years we make the trip to Northern Ireland. There are plenty of bonuses to this. We tend to head to the north coast where the surf is good (although admittedly this has never been a consideration until this year) and the beaches are empty. There aren’t that many places in the UK where seaside resorts are this quiet in August:

However, we have to get there. We don’t fly with Archie. Not ever. He doesn’t wait that well (spot the understatement) and we suspect it would be pretty unmanageable. Anyway we’re not that s̶t̶u̶p̶i̶d̶  brave. Given the title of this blog that sounds a little restrictive so we therefore p̶r̶e̶t̶e̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶w̶e̶  subscribe to the view that it’s not the destination it’s the journey that’s important and drive. From Devon to the north coast of Northern Ireland, usually via Glasgow so we can visit Richard’s sister and the kids can get together with their cousins. These journeys have become the stuff of family legend, still talked about years later.

‘Remember that time we drove to Northern Ireland and Archie would only eat home made gluten free bread and we had to carry a bread maker and toaster in the car and try and fire them up in the hotel room.‘

‘Hey remember that time we stopped in that town in the middle of Wales and we thought Archie would love the little train, but for some reason he hated it and you got off looking like you’d been glassed‘

‘Do you remember when it was really rough and I was six months pregnant and you and Joe were being sea sick and I had to crash around after Archie who didn’t notice it was rough and was running around next to the magician on the ferry, and he kept going through the exit barrier on the on board shop and setting off all the alarms.‘

‘Oh gosh do you remember when had such a traumatic ferry journey that I made you ring your mum as we drove off the ferry and tell her we were NEVER GOING TO NORTHERN IRELAND AGAIN‘

Oh how we laugh. And then there’s one from last summer.

‘Remember when we drove to Northern Ireland and Archie screamed from Birmingham to Glasgow and we didn’t know why‘.

It was really quite incredible. The car journey is usually the easy bit with the ferry being problematic. The ferry involves waiting, and other people but Archie loves being in the car and providing we don’t hit traffic jams we usually have a pretty peaceful, if long, drive. But this year? Oh no. We hit Birmingham and Archie started screaming and he didn’t let up until we reached Glasgow. We spent quite a lot of time trying to work out what could be wrong and in the end gave up. Richard drove and I posted increasingly desperate Facebook comments. From ‘Archie appears to have lost his love of long car journeys :laughs hysterically:‘ to ‘Okay it appears we’re not allowed to stop for lunch‘  and  ‘Bad he’s been screaming literallly without pausing for breath since Birmingham, we’re north of Manchester and need to get to Glasgow‘. We were momentarily amused by the bossy Scottish road sign saying ‘Tell Your Passengers To Belt Up’. Er yes, we were trying.

Anyway we never really got to the bottom of it although Archie started screaming at Birmingham again on the way home. We came to the conclusion he just doesn’t like Birmingham. Or something.

Next time we go to Northern Ireland we’ll have the talker and I would expect this to be able to help with any screaming. Often Archie screams because he cannot make himself understood; he has something he is telling us; or he wants an answer to something but simply cannot get us to understand.  We cannot work out what he is saying and so he becomes very upset and frustrated. We play guessing games and if eventually we hit on the correct answer or correct understanding of his communication we’re rewarded with peace. If we guess incorrectly he becomes even more frustrated and loud. Already, this is something that we are finding hugely beneficial about the talker, it makes it so much easier to understand the problem and so cuts down on the screaming.

Last night after school Archie started shouting and complaining. Gradually it became louder. I grabbed the talker and asked him what the matter was. ‘Granny sweeties’ came the rely. All he needed was reassurance that yes my Mum was coming to see that night, and yes she would be bringing sweets and she was just running a little late. Silence resumed. He went back to happily google mapping and I went back to cooking or working or whatever it was I was doing. It took 2 minutes, if that,  rather than perhaps half an hour to sort out.

The talker may end up helping with another aspect of travelling with Archie that can be difficult. Archie looks, for want of a better word, entirely ‘normal’ and so when he kicks off or is difficult we can receive a very unsympathetic response from the public. Another Facebook status from last year’s journey suggests this was, as usual, a problem ‘Next time I travel by ferry with Archie I’m going to dish out lemons for the public to suck‘. It doesn’t really matter, but it can be irritating. The talker helps those that need the help to understand that something is up, that maybe he can’t completely control his behaviour and it can mean we don’t get shouted at. It means I don’t have to use my friend’s technique of a loud ‘TRY not to be so autistic Archie, you’re frightening that lady’. It makes all our lives easier.